Paper Planes

Remember in my first post when I talked about how I was afraid of  everything?

Well, flying is on that list. When my parents talked about us going to Vegas they decided that flying would be more fun, and we wouldn't have to deal with anyone getting car sick on the long drive (okay, so really only I get car sick, but my parents are gems). 

I am on a plane at least once a year and you'd think I would get used to it by now right? I don't know what it is about it, but I just get really nervous every single flight. Here are a few things that go through my head:

-There is going to be a terrorist on this plane and I am going to blow up.

-I'm really glad that I was such a Lost fan so I know how to survive. 

-Wait, everyone in Lost was dead. I am going to die.

-I should probably text my final goodbyes to all my loved ones.

-Text siblings and say I love them, also tell them to tell Rudy the dog.

-Tell mom, dad, and Alex how much I love them without making them panic about our impending doom. 

-Maybe I should have made a will.

-How often does landing gear fail?

-Are my odds of survival greater in the middle seat?

Every take off I close my eyes, grip my arm rests, and breathe as deep as I can. I refuse to leave this position until we have reached our altitude. Then what happens? I am totally fine. Giggling, laughing, not even wondering how long it will take us to hit the ground. When I'm actually in the air I feel like a champion and I wonder why I was so nervous in the first place. And then...turbulence. Instantly I go back to assuming the plane is going down and we are all going to die. In my head I start screaming, "THIS IS THE END!" I hate that feeling in your stomach when you drop suddenly in altitude. After those moments of terror I am good again, until we start to land. I mean hello, we are basically doing a controlled plane crash every time. So I assume the same position as take off and open my eyes when I am on the ground alive, thanking God that I did not die on my flight. 

I think I may have made some minor progress on this last flight to Vegas though. I am wondering how I will ever fly without Alex ever again. He loves flying, this is one of those thank goodness moments in our relationship. Why? He knows exactly how to calm me down when I get worked up or stressed out. The flight was a BREEZE! He just talked to me the whole time and let me hold his hand if there were bumps. If there were multiple bumps in a row he would have me lay on his shoulder and he'd kiss my forehead. I got a good one you guys. 

Maybe one day I can not be so crazy about so many things and just learn to relax, but flying is going to take a few more trips.